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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Men
Worse
Usually
Students
Teaching
Teacher
Taught
Poor
Self
Student

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman