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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Poor
Self
Student
Men
Worse
Usually
Students
Teaching
Teacher
Taught
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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