Quote

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Men
Wives
Jewish
Humor
Comedy
Wife
Dies
Funny

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
Image
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
Image
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Image
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
Henny Youngman
Image
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
Image
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
Image
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
Image
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
Image
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
Image
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
Image
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
Image
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
Image
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
Image
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman