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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Dies
Funny
Men
Wives
Jewish
Humor
Comedy
Wife

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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman