Quote

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Comedy
Wife
Dies
Funny
Men
Wives
Jewish
Humor

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
Image
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
Image
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
Image
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
Image
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
Henny Youngman
Image
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
Image
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
Image
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
Image
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Image
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
Image
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
Image
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
Image
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
Image
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman