Quote

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Earnest
Frank
Chicago
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Women
Ernest
Men
Introduction

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman