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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Earnest
Frank
Chicago
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Women
Ernest
Men
Introduction
More quotes by Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
Henny Youngman
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
