Quote

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Earnest
Frank
Chicago
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Women
Ernest
Men
Introduction

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman