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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Frank
Chicago
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Women
Ernest
Men
Introduction
Earnest
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman