Quote

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Hotel
Girl
Finally
Night
Door
Doors
Room
Humor
Rooms
Hospitality
Comedy
Knocking

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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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