Quote

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Girl
Finally
Night
Door
Doors
Room
Humor
Rooms
Hospitality
Comedy
Knocking
Funny
Hotel

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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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