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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Husband
Inspiration
Wife
Back
Anniversary
Take
Keeps
Way
Findings
Finding
Everywhere
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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