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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Everywhere
Husband
Inspiration
Wife
Back
Anniversary
Take
Keeps
Way
Findings
Finding

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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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