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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Wife
Back
Anniversary
Take
Keeps
Way
Findings
Finding
Everywhere
Husband
Inspiration
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
