Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Stills
Grandmother
Grandma
Still
Beer
Liquor
Need
Alcohol
Grandparent
Right
Glasses
Drank
Eyeglasses
Needs
Drinking
Eighty
Booze
Drink
Bottle
Grandpa
Food
Grandchildren
Cocktails
Doesn
Bottles
Drinks
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
