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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Inspirational
Travel
Mother
Took
Back
Journey
Humor
Pleasure
Airport
Law
Airports
Funny
Trip
Family
Silly
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Henny Youngman
