Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Family
Silly
Inspirational
Travel
Mother
Took
Back
Journey
Humor
Pleasure
Airport
Law
Airports
Funny
Trip
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
Henny Youngman
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman