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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Back
Journey
Humor
Pleasure
Airport
Law
Airports
Funny
Trip
Family
Silly
Inspirational
Travel
Mother
Took
More quotes by Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
