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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Love
Forty
Finds
Kill
Comedy
Wife
Funny
Woman
Anniversary
Years
Sarcastic
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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