Quote

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Love
Forty
Finds
Kill
Comedy
Wife
Funny
Woman
Anniversary
Years
Sarcastic

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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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