Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Comedy
Wife
Funny
Woman
Anniversary
Years
Sarcastic
Love
Forty
Finds
Kill
More quotes by Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
Henny Youngman
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman