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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Crazy
Evils
Fermentation
Reading
Favourite
Booze
Read
Beer
Cocktails
Evil
Alcohol
Drunkenness
Book
Drinking
Alcoholics
Gave
Whiskey
Drink
Liquor
Humor
Drank
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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