Quote

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Crazy
Evils
Fermentation
Reading
Favourite
Booze
Read
Beer
Cocktails
Evil
Alcohol
Drunkenness
Book
Drinking
Alcoholics
Gave
Whiskey
Drink
Liquor
Humor
Drank

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
Image
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
Image
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
Image
Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
Henny Youngman
Image
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
Image
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
Image
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
Image
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
Image
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
Image
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
Image
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
Image
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
Image
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
Image
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
Image
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
Image
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
Image
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman