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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Stepped
Balls
Golf
Playing
Comedy
Two
Rake
Today
Rakes
Good
Golfing
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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