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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Littles
Relationship
Friday
Music
Goes
Dating
Little
Week
Restaurants
Tuesdays
Take
Asks
Soft
Fridays
Long
Secret
Witty
Candlelight
Time
Times
Dinner
Tuesday
People
Funny
Dancing
Anniversary
Two
Marriage
Restaurant
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman