Quote

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Little
Week
Restaurants
Tuesdays
Take
Asks
Soft
Fridays
Long
Secret
Witty
Candlelight
Time
Times
Dinner
Tuesday
People
Funny
Dancing
Anniversary
Two
Marriage
Restaurant
Littles
Relationship
Friday
Music
Goes
Dating

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
Image
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
Image
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
Image
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
Image
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
Image
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
Image
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Image
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
Image
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
Image
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
Image
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
Image
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
Image
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
Image
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
Henny Youngman
Image
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman