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Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Quarters
Life
Fully
Shoes
Average
Wife
Estimated
Looking
Spends
Experience
Quarter
Men

More quotes by Helen Rowland

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Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
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Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.
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Before marriage, when a woman speaks to a man in an undertone, he calls it cooing after marriage, he calls it nagging.
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Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?
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A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
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The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
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No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
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There are more ways of killing a man's love than by strangling it to death, but that's the usual way.
Helen Rowland
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Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
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A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
Helen Rowland
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The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
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When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
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A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
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To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.
Helen Rowland
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There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.
Helen Rowland
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A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.
Helen Rowland
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It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.
Helen Rowland
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A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
Helen Rowland
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Better a lively old epigram than a deadly new one.
Helen Rowland
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Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
Helen Rowland