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Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.
Helen Rowland
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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Quarters
Life
Fully
Shoes
Average
Wife
Estimated
Looking
Spends
Experience
Quarter
Men
More quotes by Helen Rowland
Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
Helen Rowland
Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.
Helen Rowland
Before marriage, when a woman speaks to a man in an undertone, he calls it cooing after marriage, he calls it nagging.
Helen Rowland
Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?
Helen Rowland
A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
Helen Rowland
The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
Helen Rowland
No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
Helen Rowland
There are more ways of killing a man's love than by strangling it to death, but that's the usual way.
Helen Rowland
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
Helen Rowland
A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
Helen Rowland
The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
Helen Rowland
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
Helen Rowland
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
Helen Rowland
To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.
Helen Rowland
There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.
Helen Rowland
A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.
Helen Rowland
It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.
Helen Rowland
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
Helen Rowland
Better a lively old epigram than a deadly new one.
Helen Rowland
Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
Helen Rowland