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Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Average
Wife
Looking
Estimated
Experience
Spends
Men
Quarter
Life
Quarters
Fully
Shoes

More quotes by Helen Rowland

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The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
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Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
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Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
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A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
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In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
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A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.
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What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
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It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying it's separating himself from all the others.
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A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
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After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
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A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
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In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
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Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
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Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
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A fool and her money are soon courted.
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A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her imagination, and then they both speak of it as an affair of 'the heart.
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Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.
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Before marriage, when a woman speaks to a man in an undertone, he calls it cooing after marriage, he calls it nagging.
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Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.
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