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Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.
Helen Rowland
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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Shoes
Average
Wife
Looking
Estimated
Experience
Spends
Men
Quarter
Life
Quarters
Fully
More quotes by Helen Rowland
Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
Helen Rowland
A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
Helen Rowland
Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.
Helen Rowland
A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
Helen Rowland
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
Helen Rowland
The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
Helen Rowland
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Helen Rowland
A man never knows how to say goodbye a woman never knows when to say it.
Helen Rowland
In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
Helen Rowland
A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.
Helen Rowland
Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?
Helen Rowland
When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
Helen Rowland
No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.
Helen Rowland
A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.
Helen Rowland
Love is a matter of give and take -- marriage, a matter of misgive and mistake.
Helen Rowland
When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.
Helen Rowland
A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
Helen Rowland
the mistakes you regret the most in your life are the ones you didn't commit when you had the chance
Helen Rowland
It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.
Helen Rowland
To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.
Helen Rowland
