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Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Bargain
Bargains
Marriage
Somebody
Worst
Ends

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Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
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A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.
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A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
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Better a lively old epigram than a deadly new one.
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Love is woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall. It is a game at which men must play against stacked cards, and without the slightest inkling of the trump.
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A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
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A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
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What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
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Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.
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Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
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Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?
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The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
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A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.
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Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.
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A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.
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Nobody is quite so blase and sophisticated as a boy of nineteen who is just recovering from a baby grand passion
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A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.
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No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.
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Love is a matter of give and take -- marriage, a matter of misgive and mistake.
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