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Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Women
Swear
Kissing
Police
Laughter
Laugh
Blush
Laughing
Kissed
Worst
Bite
Call
Bites

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A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.
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A man is like a cat chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
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Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
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A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
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A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
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Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
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Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.
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To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
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A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.
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There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.
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Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
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Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
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The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
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There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.
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A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.
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A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
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Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!
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No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
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A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.
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