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Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Women
Swear
Kissing
Police
Laughter
Laugh
Blush
Laughing
Kissed
Worst
Bite
Call
Bites

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A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.
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Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
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Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.
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A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.
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Many men kill themselves for love, but many more women die of it
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Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.
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Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
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A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.
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There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.
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After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
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There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.
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It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.
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Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
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A fool and her money are soon courted.
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No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
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the mistakes you regret the most in your life are the ones you didn't commit when you had the chance
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What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
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Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
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A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
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The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
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