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Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Women
Swear
Kissing
Police
Laughter
Laugh
Blush
Laughing
Kissed
Worst
Bite
Call
Bites

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Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.
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A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.
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A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
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There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.
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And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
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A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.
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There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.
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A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.
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After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.
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At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé at thirty, almost senile at forty, not so old and at fifty, positively skittish.
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A good woman is known by what she does a good man by what he doesn't.
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Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
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No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
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the mistakes you regret the most in your life are the ones you didn't commit when you had the chance
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Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
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When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
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Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
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A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
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When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.
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A man is like a cat chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
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