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Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Woman
Men
Roasting
Stops
Wedding
Begins
Point

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Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
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No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.
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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
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Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
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The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
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Nobody is quite so blase and sophisticated as a boy of nineteen who is just recovering from a baby grand passion
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To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.
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A good woman is known by what she does a good man by what he doesn't.
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At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé at thirty, almost senile at forty, not so old and at fifty, positively skittish.
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When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
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Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.
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Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.
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In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
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Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
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What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
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A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.
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A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
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A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
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Love is woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall. It is a game at which men must play against stacked cards, and without the slightest inkling of the trump.
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To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.
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