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Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Men
Roasting
Stops
Wedding
Begins
Point
Woman

More quotes by Helen Rowland

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It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.
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A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
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the mistakes you regret the most in your life are the ones you didn't commit when you had the chance
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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
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There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.
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A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
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Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?
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In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
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A good woman is known by what she does a good man by what he doesn't.
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No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
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When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
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A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
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Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
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It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying it's separating himself from all the others.
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When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.
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Love is a matter of give and take -- marriage, a matter of misgive and mistake.
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There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.
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A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.
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Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!
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Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
Helen Rowland