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Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Stops
Wedding
Begins
Point
Woman
Men
Roasting

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At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé at thirty, almost senile at forty, not so old and at fifty, positively skittish.
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What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
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A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
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A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.
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Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!
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It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.
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A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.
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Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
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A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
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Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
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There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.
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The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
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It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.
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To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.
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A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.
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Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
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A man is like a cat chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
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To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.
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Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.
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The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
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