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Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Helen Rowland

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Helen Rowland
Age: 74 †
Born: 1875
Born: January 1
Died: 1950
Died: January 1
Humorist
Journalist
Roasting
Stops
Wedding
Begins
Point
Woman
Men

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A fool and her money are soon courted.
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There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.
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The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
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When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
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Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
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Some women blush when they are kissed, some call for the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are those who laugh.
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To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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A good woman is known by what she does a good man by what he doesn't.
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A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.
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A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
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Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
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Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.
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And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
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Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?
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Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
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The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
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A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.
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Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.
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Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
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A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.
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