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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Truth
Pose
Threat
Silence
Greater
Difficult

More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate. People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.
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Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
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It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.
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Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
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Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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