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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
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More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
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Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
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As many have observed, it is easy to tell a lie, but it is almost impossible to tell only one.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
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There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.
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Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate. People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.
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Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.
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The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.
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