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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Believing
Sense
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Women
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Believe
Engineers
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Mothers

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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.
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There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
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Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
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Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.
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the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
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Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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