Quote

deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Survive
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Organisms
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Deception
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
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Often when someone apologizes - like a parent who says to a child, I'm very sorry I neglected you when you were a kid - they also ask, Do you forgive me?, because they want the other person to be over it. However, healing can take a great deal of time. And if we forgive too quickly, we cut the process short.
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Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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As many have observed, it is easy to tell a lie, but it is almost impossible to tell only one.
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The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.
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