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We all fear change, even as we seek it.
Harriet Lerner
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Harriet Lerner
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More quotes by Harriet Lerner
Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
Harriet Lerner
Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
Harriet Lerner
I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
Harriet Lerner
The term girl not only serves to avoid certain anxiety-arousing connotations inherent in the word woman regarding aggression, sexuality, and reproduction, it also serves to impart a tone of frivolousness and lack of seriousness to ambitious, intellectual, and competitive striving that women may pursue.
Harriet Lerner
We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
Harriet Lerner
The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
Harriet Lerner
Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
Harriet Lerner
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
Harriet Lerner
The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
Harriet Lerner
Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
Harriet Lerner
Women are raised to be the nurturers and steadiers of rocked boats, to hold relationships in place as if our lives depended on it. But it shores up your own dignity and integrity if you're able to say, There are a million things I love about you, and I want our relationship to continue. I forgive you 95 percent, but not this 5 percent.
Harriet Lerner
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
Harriet Lerner
Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
Harriet Lerner
If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
Harriet Lerner
There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.
Harriet Lerner
It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
Harriet Lerner
If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
Harriet Lerner
Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.
Harriet Lerner
No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
Harriet Lerner
The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
Harriet Lerner