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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
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More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
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Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
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deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
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Women are raised to be the nurturers and steadiers of rocked boats, to hold relationships in place as if our lives depended on it. But it shores up your own dignity and integrity if you're able to say, There are a million things I love about you, and I want our relationship to continue. I forgive you 95 percent, but not this 5 percent.
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The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.
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Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions.
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Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.
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Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
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Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate. People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.
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Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.
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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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