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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Always
Men
Like
Sex
Conversation
Though
Often
Women

More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
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Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.
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As many have observed, it is easy to tell a lie, but it is almost impossible to tell only one.
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.
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the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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Women are raised to be the nurturers and steadiers of rocked boats, to hold relationships in place as if our lives depended on it. But it shores up your own dignity and integrity if you're able to say, There are a million things I love about you, and I want our relationship to continue. I forgive you 95 percent, but not this 5 percent.
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Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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