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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Life
Adults
Along
Kids
Nothing
Important

More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions.
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Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.
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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
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deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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