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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Life
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Along
Kids
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More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
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deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
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Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
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It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate. People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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