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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Life
Adults
Along
Kids
Nothing
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More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.
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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions.
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The term girl not only serves to avoid certain anxiety-arousing connotations inherent in the word woman regarding aggression, sexuality, and reproduction, it also serves to impart a tone of frivolousness and lack of seriousness to ambitious, intellectual, and competitive striving that women may pursue.
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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