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If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions.
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
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There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.
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We all fear change, even as we seek it.
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Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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As many have observed, it is easy to tell a lie, but it is almost impossible to tell only one.
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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.
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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
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The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
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