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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
Harriet Lerner
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Harriet Lerner
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More quotes by Harriet Lerner
No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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We all fear change, even as we seek it.
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Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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The term girl not only serves to avoid certain anxiety-arousing connotations inherent in the word woman regarding aggression, sexuality, and reproduction, it also serves to impart a tone of frivolousness and lack of seriousness to ambitious, intellectual, and competitive striving that women may pursue.
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Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.
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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
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Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
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What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
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There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.
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Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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As many have observed, it is easy to tell a lie, but it is almost impossible to tell only one.
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Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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