Quote

Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Ensure
Respond
May
Persons
Person
Nothing
Deafness
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Threshold
Never
Exceed

More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
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If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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We all fear change, even as we seek it.
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the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.
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What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
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There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people out of their homeland and bringing them here in chains. There is no adequate apology for the ongoing horrific legacy of racism.
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Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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