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Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Women
Spices
Made
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Long
Ingredients
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Sugar
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Anger
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More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate. People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
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Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
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Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
Harriet Lerner
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
Harriet Lerner
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Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.
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Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
Harriet Lerner
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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