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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Listening
Greatest
Spiritual
Give
Persons
Person
Whole
Hearted
Giving
Gift

More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
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Often when someone apologizes - like a parent who says to a child, I'm very sorry I neglected you when you were a kid - they also ask, Do you forgive me?, because they want the other person to be over it. However, healing can take a great deal of time. And if we forgive too quickly, we cut the process short.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.
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Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.
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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
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Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.
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The term girl not only serves to avoid certain anxiety-arousing connotations inherent in the word woman regarding aggression, sexuality, and reproduction, it also serves to impart a tone of frivolousness and lack of seriousness to ambitious, intellectual, and competitive striving that women may pursue.
Harriet Lerner
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the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
Harriet Lerner
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Women are raised to be the nurturers and steadiers of rocked boats, to hold relationships in place as if our lives depended on it. But it shores up your own dignity and integrity if you're able to say, There are a million things I love about you, and I want our relationship to continue. I forgive you 95 percent, but not this 5 percent.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.
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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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