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Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
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Spiritual

More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
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Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions.
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the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
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The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.
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Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate. People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
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