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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
Harriet Lerner
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Harriet Lerner
Contagious
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Anxiety
Calm
More quotes by Harriet Lerner
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
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If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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We all fear change, even as we seek it.
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What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
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As many have observed, it is easy to tell a lie, but it is almost impossible to tell only one.
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It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.
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The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
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The term girl not only serves to avoid certain anxiety-arousing connotations inherent in the word woman regarding aggression, sexuality, and reproduction, it also serves to impart a tone of frivolousness and lack of seriousness to ambitious, intellectual, and competitive striving that women may pursue.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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Women are raised to be the nurturers and steadiers of rocked boats, to hold relationships in place as if our lives depended on it. But it shores up your own dignity and integrity if you're able to say, There are a million things I love about you, and I want our relationship to continue. I forgive you 95 percent, but not this 5 percent.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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