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Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm.
Harriet Lerner
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Harriet Lerner
Calm
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Anxiety
More quotes by Harriet Lerner
What initially attracts us and what later becomes 'the problem' are usually one and the same.
Harriet Lerner
deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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Often when someone apologizes - like a parent who says to a child, I'm very sorry I neglected you when you were a kid - they also ask, Do you forgive me?, because they want the other person to be over it. However, healing can take a great deal of time. And if we forgive too quickly, we cut the process short.
Harriet Lerner
Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
Harriet Lerner
the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
Harriet Lerner
The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
Harriet Lerner
The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
Harriet Lerner
No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
Harriet Lerner
The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
Harriet Lerner
Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
Harriet Lerner
We all fear change, even as we seek it.
Harriet Lerner
Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.
Harriet Lerner
Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold of deafness.
Harriet Lerner
If you want a recipe for relationship failure, just wait for the other person to change first.
Harriet Lerner
Although it's not useful to drown in despair, it's also not useful to keep a 'positive attitude' when this means concealing or denying real emotions.
Harriet Lerner
Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to the other person.
Harriet Lerner
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
Harriet Lerner