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We will be in tune with our bodies only if we truly love and honor them. We can't be in good communication with the enemy.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Truly
Enemy
Body
Good
Tune
Love
Tunes
Bodies
Communication
Honor

More quotes by Harriet Lerner

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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.
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Often when someone apologizes - like a parent who says to a child, I'm very sorry I neglected you when you were a kid - they also ask, Do you forgive me?, because they want the other person to be over it. However, healing can take a great deal of time. And if we forgive too quickly, we cut the process short.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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Women are raised to be the nurturers and steadiers of rocked boats, to hold relationships in place as if our lives depended on it. But it shores up your own dignity and integrity if you're able to say, There are a million things I love about you, and I want our relationship to continue. I forgive you 95 percent, but not this 5 percent.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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Believing that all women should want to be mothers makes about as much sense as believing that all men should want to be engineers.
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The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.
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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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Relationships are most likely to fail when we don't address problems or hold our partner accountable for unfair or irresponsible behavior ... the ability to clarify our values, beliefs, and life goals--and then to keep our behavior congruent with them--is at the heart of a solid marriage.
Harriet Lerner
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.
Harriet Lerner
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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
Harriet Lerner
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
Harriet Lerner
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Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
Harriet Lerner
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
Harriet Lerner