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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Suffering
Expressions
Locked
Suffer
Deeply
Dare
Anger
Angry
Expression
Ineffective

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The term girl not only serves to avoid certain anxiety-arousing connotations inherent in the word woman regarding aggression, sexuality, and reproduction, it also serves to impart a tone of frivolousness and lack of seriousness to ambitious, intellectual, and competitive striving that women may pursue.
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Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate. People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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We all fear change, even as we seek it.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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If you pursue a distancer, he or she will distance more. Consider it a fundamental law of physics.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.
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The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
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No book or expert can protect us from the range of painful emotions that make us human.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
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Women ... have long been discouraged from the awareness and forthright expression of anger. Sugar and spice are the ingredients from which we are made. We are the nurturers, the soothers, the peacemakers, and the steadiers of rocked boats.
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I'm a good example of wanting to apologize only for my precise share of a problem--as I calculate it, of course--and I expect my husband Steve to apologize for his share, also as I calculate it. Since we're not always of one mind on the math, it can lead to the theater of the absurd.
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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