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Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.

Harriet Lerner

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Harriet Lerner
Suffer
Deeply
Dare
Anger
Angry
Expression
Ineffective
Suffering
Expressions
Locked

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Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.
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Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.
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Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate. People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.
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Differences don’t just threaten and divide us. They also inform, enrich, and enliven us.
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Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
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deception and 'con games' are a way of life in all species and throughout nature. Organisms that do not improve their ability to deceive - and to detect deception - are less apt to survive.
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The happiest people are focused on living their own life (not someone else's) as well as possible.
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It's a cliché, but also a deep truth (as cliché's tend to be), that you can't love another person very well if you don't love yourself.
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Through words we come to know the other person--and to be known. This knowing is at the heart of our deepest longings for intimacy and connection with others. How relationships unfold with the most important people in our lives depends on courage and clarity in finding voice.
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
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We all fear change, even as we seek it.
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Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
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Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
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If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
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Men are often (though not always) the pursuers for sex, just like women are often (though not always) the pursuers for conversation.
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the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
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Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.
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Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.
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Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
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